Master Robot Control
Google’s Best guess for this image: cartoon

Then Came That Terrible Day…

Apple_Computer_Logo_rainbow100APPLE ROBOT WARSBut just as the robots were about to attack, they stopped, still as statues. Nobody knows why but it’s not Apple’s fault and this insignificant bug will be addressed with the next expensive upgrade, which true Apple fans will not mind in the least.

MSWin10_100WINDOWS ROBOT WARSBut just as the robots were about to attack, they stopped, still as statues, as they first had to close all of the ad pop-up boxes in Explorer and tell Cortana for the umpteenth F*ing time that they didn’t want to Bing search using Voice Commands, Right Now!

AndroidRobot100ANDROID ROBOT WARSBut just as the robots were about to attack, they stopped, still as statues, as 30 bloatware apps the Robots never wanted (but were factory installed) abruptly opened on their own, consuming valuable CPU clock cycles and re-routing their individual networks to ad aggregate marketing cloud firms, while spontaneously dialing programmers who left the company five years ago. All the apps had to be manually shut down, by the villains who launched them. But then they just restarted themselves all over again in a cacophony of rebirth boops, then all the robots locked itself thanks to an Overlay file, which was actually working the way it was designed to: horribly.

Tux100LINUX ROBOT WARSBut just as the robots were about to attack, they stopped, still as statues, as a line command, a shell, an entire tar, or maybe even a god damn bash for crying out loud (who TF knows?), was required for the requested task, yet the kernel couldn’t find the necessary file module listed on the documentation tree. Standing in silence as the potential victims pelted them with rocks, the robots vainly searched a Github forum where someone else went through this and had found a usable work-around.

freebsd100UNIX ROBOT WARSBut just as the robots were about to attack, they stopped, still as statues, as they couldn’t move beyond 30 feet from their Bluetooth dongles. Despite the newly touted 90 yard range, the dongles were pairing, but not connecting.


Who did my blog art? I’ve no idea. It’s been shared for years on Facebook, but even if it’s in the Public Domain, I’d at least like to credit the artist. Does anyone know?

pb300The information wants to support its creator.
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection
Is a trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller – plus bonus stories
Featuring: True Love, Weird Sex, Monsters and Mayhem!
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).
Buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!

Looking to burn a whole $20 and maybe buy a doughnut?

Look for my second collection, WILLOW BLUE and Other Stories
Five critically acclaimed tales featuring my literary twist on Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem! $8.00 for the paperback, $1.99 for the kindle reader or app. As always, buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!

Then go buy a doughnut.

Got a gift card to empty?

Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.

Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself as well as Ray Bradbury, John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, and many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.


Something to cheer you!

We live as thieves and pirates because we destroyed our ability to create. We wiped the best and brightest from our world with fear and fire a long time ago, and there’s no point in looking back.

Now we’ve come to your world in search of resources, for we’ve lost the ability to create our own. Yet here we find that there is not enough to justify our journey: still, we shall take them anyway so you cannot have them.

My people are dying. There were more scientific advancements in the first 25 years of the 21st century than in the last 2 centuries since.

Since the 19th century we have been aware of the viability of fusion power, yet over 400 years later have still not solved its riddle. Because we worship instead of reason, oppress instead of uplift, war instead of build, we still do not know how to harness the power of our own sun, which expends more energy in a single second than entirety of all life on my planet has used up to this moment.

We passed three other stars to get here, so we do not come here to survive. We come here for the only purpose we embrace: bitterness, bigotry, rage, and jealousy. We claim that our strike against you is preemptive, though at your primitive level it took my kind tens of thousands of years to reach the point where you see us now.

That is our terror, that you will surpass us in mere centuries instead of hundreds of millennia. We kill what scares us and we will kill you and each other if it means the very last of us can stand over the dead and rule them.

This is our pride, this is us spitting into the face of a God we created to spite the legend and ourselves, for we have nothing else, and now know we never will.

War was, is, and always will be our angry, jealous God.