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Posts tagged “Space

1968: NASA Chooses the First Men


Neil Armstrong

So back in the 1960s, the decision makers at NASA (National Aeronautics and Space Administration) looked at the top candidates, all of whom were the best on the planet to guide the lander to a safe place and make that first step, and found themselves stumped.

There was no one out of the 29 candidates who singularly possessed any particular skill set that the others couldn’t equally match with their own excellent skill set.

Finally Flight Director GENE KRANZ said, “I dunno. You want to draw straws?”
ROCKET SCIENTIST: “Please! We’re men of science.”
CRYPTOGRAPHER: “How about Cryptography on their names? You never know what you might come up with?”
NASA Administrator THOMAS O. PAINE: “Right. Why not numerology?”
CRYPTOGRAPHER: “Hey now!”
LINGUISTICS (holds pencil thoughtfully): “How about Semordnilap?”
ALL: “A what?”
LINGUISTICS: “Semordnilap.” (writes in the air) “You reverse a word or words to make new words. You want to try it on their names?”
ROCKET SCIENTIST: “Real clever. Linguistics! Why are you even part of this? Do we have a mission critical crossword puzzle to be – ”
WERNHER VON BRAUN: “I’d like to hear more about this, actually.”
LINGUISTICS (proudly): “Semordnilap has always been a part of secret coding.”
CRYPTOGRAPHER: “Well that’s true.”
LINGUISTICS (prouder-ly): “Semordnilap itself is a reverse of the word ‘palindromes’. You can intentionally hide entire sentences or coded words within another word. But often you find words already exist in a sentence, and sometimes even make sense, in the reverse of a sentence or a group of words, like a name.”
WERNHER VON BRAUN: “As someone whose country was significantly defeated by cryptographers, I’d like to try this.”

Cryptographer and Linguistics beam with pride at each other.

ROCKET SCIENTIST (sotto voce): “Don’t puff up. You were just flattered by a NAZI.”
GENE KRANZ: “Hey, watch it, you!”
ROCKET SCIENTIST: “Sorry.”
WERNHER VON BRAUN: “I’m used to it.”
THOMAS O. PAINE: “Well ol Edwin Eugene Buzz Aldrin has to be one of them.”
LINGUISTICS: “What? Why?”
THOMAS O. PAINE: “His Mother’s maiden name was Marion *Moon*.”
LINGUISTICS: “No way!”
ROCKET SCIENTIST: “You of all people didn’t know?”
LINGUISTICS: (challenging glare) “You really want to mix it up, don’t you? Well I’m game!”
GENE KRANZ: “Ahem ! And with a nickname like Buzz?”
THOMAS O. PAINE: “Well that’s just too much cool not to have him there. But don’t ever let him know I said that. Okay, let’s try this Snerdlap and -”
LINGUISTICS: “Semordnilap.”
THOMAS O. PAINE: “Right, and see if we can find the other guy.”
CRYPTOGRAPHER: “I’m working through this already. Check it out. ‘Gnorts Mr. Alien’.”
WERNHER VON BRAUN: “Vas?”
CRYPTOGRAPHER: “Neil Armstrong, spelled backwards.”
WERNHER VON BRAUN: “Mr. Alien… Ha! Vunderbar! I like that.”
GENE KRANZ: “Me too. The first two earth men on the Moon are Buzz Moon and Mr. Alien. That’s great!”
LINGUISTICS: “But what’s Gnorts?”
ROCKET SCIENTIST: “Your Mother.”
LINGUISTICS (slams pencil): THAT’S IT! IT’S GO TIME!”

THE END


pb300Welcome to
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection?
It’s a veritable trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller tales – plus bonus stories
Featuring: Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem!
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).
Buy the paperback at Amazon and the Kindle eBook is free!

Want more?

Buy WILLOW BLUE. It’s my second collection of critically acclaimed Supernatural and Drama Thriller short stories with all of the Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem, you’ve come to expect (or should by now). Available in paperback for $8.00 or in Kindle for only $1.99. Buy the paperback at Amazon and the Kindle eBook is free! The tales will last you longer than latte!

Is Your Hunger Insatiable?

Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.

Exploit These Resources!

Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself, as well as  John Carpenter, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, also the late  Ray Bradbury, Wes Craven, plus many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.

 

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It Was Cool The First Time


Okay, so anyone who is interested has heard about Amazon.com’s Jeff Bezos and his somewhat less successful company, Blue Origin launching a rocket into space (above the Karman line, anyway) and then bringing it back to earth and landing it.

If this is the first time you’ve heard about it, but I’ve piqued your interest, then here it is.

That was back in November 16, 2015.

It was very cool for many reasons, not the least of which is that when it comes to phallic rocket designs, the Blue Origin looks more like a dildo than all previous contenders. That’s a rocket powered penis, yo!

But now Jeff Bezos is getting boring. On January 23, 2016, he and Blue Origin – yawn – simply repeated themselves.

Seriously. When you drive a Lamborghini the first time, it’s a thrill and wild and cool. The second time you drive a Lamborghini it’s to pick up milk at the grocery.

Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were the first men on the moon. Remember the names of the guys who were second?*

*Oh don’t go and Google it, ya dink. Here.

You want real action and thrills? Check out the awesome Michael Bay stylings of Elon Musk’s SpaceX!

BLOOIE! WHOA HO!

Space X has done this a few times. January 10, 2015. April 14, 2015 – CRS6. On June 28, 2015, CRS7 blew up during flight so that doesn’t really count.

However, on December 22, 2015, about a month after Blue Origin landed their Cock Rocket (which remains awesome for its, In Your Face, design!),  Space X got together with the NASA mausoleum and successfully landed their space rocket too: Just to show they could do it if they really wanted to.

Then on January 17, 2016, Elon went back to doing what he does best: Stuff Exploding!

KA-BLOOIE!

Elon pulled this off about a week before Jeff repeated himself.

When Elon isn’t blowing up rockets, he makes battery operated race cars with wing doors! Doors that lift up, not swing out! Doors that swing out are for losers. Winners want car doors that go up.

SilconValley

Russ Hanneman (Chris Diamantopoulos) on Mike Judge’s, Silicon Valley. HBO

So to summarize, when Bezos returns to earth he simply walks through the door.

When Musk returns to earth he does it Hardcore! To the Extreme!

That’s why Elon Musk is freaking Metal and Jeff Bezos owns an online Walmart!


PerpetualBulletPB2014My book
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection, will really give you a lift!
It’s a trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller – plus bonus stories
Featuring: Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem!
By E.C. McMullen Jr.
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99. Available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).

Also look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt and available in Paperback and eBook.

Looking for a great guidebook on filmmaking? You’ll find industry informative interviews with Ray Bradbury, Wes Craven, John Carpenter, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, me, and many others in HORROR 201: The Silver Scream.


This looks like a job for BONES IN SPA-A-A-ACE!


AARP, NASA Look At Bones In Space Aboard ISS
2014-blog_A_ISS-Crew-Expedition-41
BONES: “God damn it, Jim! I’m a just a small country doctor!”
JIM: “Yeah. Beats me why, the hell the, Federation, would ever, put you in charge of medicine, on a Sovereign-class, starship.”
BONES: “I was drafted!”
JIM: “Whew! Somebody in the, high command, really screwed the pooch, over you.”
BONES: “I can’t even cure the common cold!”
SPOCK: “The Common Cold Was Cured Over 100 Years Ago.”
BONES: “Oh. BUT I DIDN’T KNOW THAT! I’m just a small -“
JIM & SPOCK: “- Country doctor.”
JIM: “Yeah, we got it.”
SPOCK: “Well This Has Been Stimulating. I’m Going Back To My Control And Look In My Blue Light View Thing.”
JIM: “About that, Spock. What is, that thing, exactly?”
SPOCK: “It’s Just A Glorified Viewmaster, Captain.”
JIM: “Oh.”
SPOCK: “Pretty Archaic, Actually.”
BONES: “Could be worse. Uhura wears a salt shaker in her ear.”
SPOCK: “Yes, I Have One Of Those Too.”
JIM: “I’ve got five, god damn years, of this left, to go.”
BONES: “Three if we’re lucky.”


PerpetualBulletPB2014Want more? Get my book
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection
A trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller – plus bonus stories
Featuring: Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem!
By E.C. McMullen Jr.
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).

Also look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt and available in Paperback and eBook.

Looking for a great guidebook on filmmaking? Interviews with Ray Bradbury, Wes Craven, John Carpenter, Tom Holland, George A. Romero, me, and many others in HORROR 201: The Silver Scream Vol.’s 1 & 2.


SPACE: 1999


Space-1999-MegaDVDSet

What are you so damn smug about? You blew up your own colony!

In 1979, the nation of Canada, after decades of having watched their best, brightest, and savviest flee across the southern border for better opportunities in the U.S.A., took a good, honest, and ( relatively ) sober look at their ultra polite, non-confrontational culture and said,

“Screw this.”

So they sent their dullest ( even by Canadian standards ) pacifists to the far side of the moon – to build a base where no one on earth would ever have to look at them.

20 years later the incompetent boobs went and blew up their own god damn moon base, sending a large, rolling doughnut-sized fragment containing the remains of their entire colony, hurtling out into space.

Before losing radio contact, the colonists blamed the explosion on all the nuclear waste they were storing. Which fooled no one but 9/11 Truufers and their ilk. There is a reason why they are called “spent fuel rods” and that’s because they are SPENT!

Anyway, some Brits thought the whole disaster was a hoot and made this documentary, SPACE: 1999. That was before the great Space Time warp of 2000 created a new sack of alternate earths with diverging timelines ( my bad and I can’t apologize enough for it* ).

The upshot for us is that the whole moonbase thing never happened and we got a Thrilling TV show out of it from the mid-1970s ( well, about as thrilling as competitive numerology ) .

Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey can sure get messy.

*Originally the 1990s Star Wars Special Edition trilogy and the Star Wars Prequel trilogy never happened – and still hasn’t happened in most alt-timelines. I am so, SO sorry!

END

Story by E.C. McMullen Jr.


pb300For stories that will send you to the moon, buy my book,
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection
Is a trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller – plus bonus stories
Featuring: True Love, Weird Sex, Monsters and Mayhem!
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).
Buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!

Want to enter other timelines?

Look for my second collection, WILLOW BLUE and Other Stories
Five critically acclaimed tales featuring my literary twist on Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem! $8.00 for the paperback, $1.99 for the kindle reader or app. As always, buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!

Got a gift card to empty?

Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.

Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself as well as Ray Bradbury, John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, and many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.