Satire on the “If Someone Has More Than Me” meme-

If A Man has a House Stacked to the Ceiling with Newspapers, We Call Him Crazy

If A Woman has a Trailer House full of Cats, We Call Her Nuts

When People Pathologically Hoard so much Cash that they Impoverish Others, We put them on the cover of Fortune Magazine and pretend they are Role Models

If Someone has a House Stacked to the Ceiling with Books, Ok, Where ever this is going, I Think I’m Being Insulted!



I'll be your Bartender todayUPDATE:
Nobody won the Jackpot. Now it rolls over to about $1.2 billion!

Here’s the thing about the odds on the upcoming predicted $700 million Powerball game of 2016.

To win the full $700 million, all five numbers plus the Powerball, the odds are 1 in 292.2 million.

That’s for the grand prize.

You’re basically competing against the entire population of the U.S. (excluding newborns and pets that have been registered to vote) and there’s a significant chance that none of you will win (nobody has won since November).

On the other hand, to win the second prize of $1 million – matching five balls without the Powerball, is 1 in 11,688,053.52.

Still pretty high, but that figure is a staggeringly significant cut of 280,511,946.48 Off  of the odds against you.

You’re basically competing against the population of Illinois, excluding people in their Terrible Twos and under.

The third prize, matching four balls plus the Powerball, is $50,000. Those odds are 1 in 913,129.18. The odds drop figure is also a massive cut of 10,774,924.34 off of the odds of winning second place.

You’re basically competing against one of the least populated cities in Texas: Austin.

The fourth and fifth prizes are both $100.

4th prize is matching four numbers without the Powerball.
5th prize being three numbers with the Powerball.

4th prize odds, 1 in 36,525.17

You’re competing against a small stadium at a game.

5th prize odds, 1 in 14,494.11

You’re competing against a full music hall.

Whether it’s $50,000 or $100, you have to decide if that’s worth the fun risk of your $2 bucks. Still, these odds are better than your odds of being attacked by a shark while swimming in the ocean. They’re even better odds than you being struck by lightening while out in the rain.

On Wednesday, January 6, 2016, nobody won the jackpot, yet more people won a Powerball prize (7,124,983 people in all winning a shared total of $65,947,617) than all ocean swimmers attacked by sharks, all people stuck by lightning, and all people attacked by bears in all of recorded history.

Win, or far more likely, Lose, Half of your $2 bucks goes to your state’s General Fund, which is probably a better use of your money than paying state income tax. And hey, how much money have you spent at laundromat arcade games? Didja get a good return on that?

Your odds substantially decrease if you bet using your own numbers like your dog’s birthday or some such nonsense. There are 69 numbers and only 31 days tops in any month.

Your odds of winning something increase if you buy 26 tickets, making sure to match each one of the 26 different Powerball numbers.

Hey, why not buy 26 tickets every time?

 Of course just matching the Powerball alone nets you $4.

Finally, and this is strictly for people who enjoy gambling (if you don’t enjoy it, then what’s the point? I, for example, don’t like playing Yahtzee. Yahtzee is not my game. Your mileage may vary), get a feel for what numbers frequently turn up and which numbers rarely turn up. Powerball supplies those too.


Will this knowledge significantly increase your chances of winning? Heh! Yeah, sure, whatever melts yer butter.

PerpetualBulletPB2014Here’s a sure thing: Get my book
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Also look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt and available in Paperback and eBook.

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