What Is A Jedi?


JediDoes

No, that’s what Obi Yawn did when he thought he defeated Anakin and left him to die on a bed of lava.

Yoda ran when Palpatine defeated him in battle.

The rest of the Jedi stood and fought (and died), but Luke always did things his way, ignoring the advice of both of his “Masters”.

When Yoda told Luke to stay out of the fight, don’t face Vader, and maybe let his friends die, Luke basically said, “No way, dude. See ya!”

When Ghost Kenobi reiterated Yoda’s advice, Luke basically said, “See Yoda. Ditto.” And flew off with R2D2 to do exactly what he wanted.

And why?

Because Obi Wan always told Luke to “Let go” and “Trust his feelings” and at that point, having caught his two Masters in a lie, Luke didn’t trust either of them.

Join us now as Luke’s X-Wing takes off, leaving behind a clearly frosted Yoda, who  snarls,

“Why Sith that Lord of son! Think he is, who does?”

Obi Yawn materializes saying,
“… Ahh… Nope. I… I’m sorry, what?”

Yoda, shaking with rage,
“Impertinent! Think who does he is? Jedi Me Long Before his lineage was!”

“Oh… the curt dressing down he gave you. Yes, that was… hm. That’s certainly him.”

“Too his father like! Much anger I sense!”

“I’d say more naive, overconfident, and a bit arrogant. Well, that’s what destroying a Death Star on your own will do to you.”

“No! NO! Much in him Anger Sensing! GRRR! ANGER!”

“Okay, Master Yoda. Although in fairness, you never killed hundreds of thousands of lives with a single shot. Not so much as a three-party tugboat”

“Hm! HM! Matters not!”

“Yes, well. Anyway, that boy is our last hope.”

“No, there is another.”

“Ho! You didn’t mangle that sentence, did you? But you can’t be talking about Leia.”

“Leia is.”

“One of these cold swamp stones has more human compassion than her. Leia saw her home planet blown to dust, billions of her people, their history, everything wiped out, and in minutes she was over it like that!”

Obi tries to snap his fingers.
“Like… that!”
several times, but fails.

Yoda sighs deeply.empire-yoda-obiwan “Ghost you are, remember? Physical not.”

“Oh, right.”

END


pb300

My New Hope is that you’ll buy my book
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection?
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Featuring: Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem!
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Find it at (AmazonBarnes & Noble, iTunes,
KoboBooksSmashwordsWHSmith, and more).
Buy the paperback at Amazon and the Kindle eBook is free!

There is Another,

Buy WILLOW BLUE. It’s my second collection of critically acclaimed Supernatural and Drama Thriller short stories with all of the Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem, you’ve come to expect (or should by now). Available in paperback for $8.00 or in Kindle for only $1.99. Buy the paperback at Amazon and the Kindle eBook is free! The tales will last you longer than latte!

Tear your wallet apart until you buy this!

Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.

I find your lack of reading material disturbing

Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself, as well as  John Carpenter, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, also the late  Ray Bradbury, Wes Craven, plus many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.

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Obi Wan Can’t Remember


SWLukeNObiOne

Use the Force, Larry!


pb300Don’t get down to your last hope. Buy my book,
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection
A trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller – plus bonus stories
Featuring: True Love, Weird Sex, Monsters and Mayhem!
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).
Buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!

There’s still more hope for us!

Look for my second collection, WILLOW BLUE and Other Stories
Five critically acclaimed tales featuring my literary twist on Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem! $8.00 for the paperback, $1.99 for the kindle reader or app. As always, buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!

I hope you have more room

Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.

Hoping for still more?

Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself as well as Ray Bradbury, John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, and many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.

STAR WARS Saturday!


I'M WARNING YOU

Leia was such a princess…

TATOOINE IDOL

Darth Vader knew what it was to be hurt…

AlderaanIdol

Obi Wan: closer to the Family Guy version than you’d like…!

BUT DON'T WORRY! WE'LL DEAL WITH YOUR ROOBLE-

Tarkin thought: ‘Don’t say Rabble! Don’t say Rabble! Don’t say Roo…’

GOD OF THE GEEKS

The insanely best of both worlds…

EVIL PUPPY

Someone else will be the new Admiral…

LEAVE NOW?

Grand Muff Clinton…

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THE FORCE

Darth Perry…

MCMAHON SAID YOU KILLED MY MOTHER!

Wrestling has its own universe…

Whattsa prequel Trilogy?  ITSA CRAP!

Ackbar weighs in on the second set…

Not all movies could cash in on the Star Wars phenomenon, but some came close.

HAN SOLO

Han Solo has his own code…