What Is A Jedi?


JediDoes

No, that’s what Obi Yawn did when he thought he defeated Anakin and left him to die on a bed of lava.

Yoda ran when Palpatine defeated him in battle.

The rest of the Jedi stood and fought (and died), but Luke always did things his way, ignoring the advice of both of his “Masters”.

When Yoda told Luke to stay out of the fight, don’t face Vader, and maybe let his friends die, Luke basically said, “No way, dude. See ya!”

When Ghost Kenobi reiterated Yoda’s advice, Luke basically said, “See Yoda. Ditto.” And flew off with R2D2 to do exactly what he wanted.

And why?

Because Obi Wan always told Luke to “Let go” and “Trust his feelings” and at that point, having caught his two Masters in a lie, Luke didn’t trust either of them.

Join us now as Luke’s X-Wing takes off, leaving behind a clearly frosted Yoda, who  snarls,

“Why Sith that Lord of son! Think he is, who does?”

Obi Yawn materializes saying,
“… Ahh… Nope. I… I’m sorry, what?”

Yoda, shaking with rage,
“Impertinent! Think who does he is? Jedi Me Long Before his lineage was!”

“Oh… the curt dressing down he gave you. Yes, that was… hm. That’s certainly him.”

“Too his father like! Much anger I sense!”

“I’d say more naive, overconfident, and a bit arrogant. Well, that’s what destroying a Death Star on your own will do to you.”

“No! NO! Much in him Anger Sensing! GRRR! ANGER!”

“Okay, Master Yoda. Although in fairness, you never killed hundreds of thousands of lives with a single shot. Not so much as a three-party tugboat”

“Hm! HM! Matters not!”

“Yes, well. Anyway, that boy is our last hope.”

“No, there is another.”

“Ho! You didn’t mangle that sentence, did you? But you can’t be talking about Leia.”

“Leia is.”

“One of these cold swamp stones has more human compassion than her. Leia saw her home planet blown to dust, billions of her people, their history, everything wiped out, and in minutes she was over it like that!”

Obi tries to snap his fingers.
“Like… that!”
several times, but fails.

Yoda sighs deeply.empire-yoda-obiwan “Ghost you are, remember? Physical not.”

“Oh, right.”

END


pb300

My New Hope is that you’ll buy my book
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection?
It’s a veritable trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller tales – plus bonus stories
Featuring: Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem!
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (AmazonBarnes & Noble, iTunes,
KoboBooksSmashwordsWHSmith, and more).
Buy the paperback at Amazon and the Kindle eBook is free!

There is Another,

Buy WILLOW BLUE. It’s my second collection of critically acclaimed Supernatural and Drama Thriller short stories with all of the Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem, you’ve come to expect (or should by now). Available in paperback for $8.00 or in Kindle for only $1.99. Buy the paperback at Amazon and the Kindle eBook is free! The tales will last you longer than latte!

Tear your wallet apart until you buy this!

Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.

I find your lack of reading material disturbing

Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself, as well as  John Carpenter, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, also the late  Ray Bradbury, Wes Craven, plus many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.

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MILLENNIUM


SadWeirdAlSing to the tune of Rob Zombie’s DRAGULA

MILLENNIUM
Leia’s back again, afraid of Kylo Ren
Different shades of Force, that’s the same of course
Chewie’s back and how, lookin’ younger now
Han is old and gray, guess he’ll stay that way

Light up your saber
and fight off the labor
of clones chasing after my
Millennium

Light up your saber
and fight off the labor
of clones chasing after my
Millennium

Han has got to say, a thing to Finn and Rey
Is it truth or con? Ask Poe Dameron
Artoo and Threepio, some scavenger called Teedo
Ackbar and Kanata, I didn’t say Canada

Light up your saber
and fight off the labor
of clones chasing after my
Millennium

Light up your saber
and fight off the labor
of clones chasing after my
Millennium

A-Skywalker’s here somewhere
A-Skywalker’s here somewhere
We’re not sure what’s going on

Abrams says this is great, said that of SUPER 8
More stupid Star Trek Flares, think the guy’s unawares?
Snoke, Hux, and San Tekka, and a Captain Phasma
Hoping they’ll raise the bar, oh crap another Death Star

A-Skywalker’s here somewhere
A-Skywalker’s here somewhere
We’re not sure what’s going on

A-Skywalker’s here somewhere
A-Skywalker’s here somewhere
We’re not sure what’s going on

Light up your saber
and fight off the labor
of clones chasing after my
Millennium

Light up your saber
and fight off the labor
of clones chasing after my
Millennium

Light up your saber
and fight off the labor
of clones chasing after my
Millennium

Parody by E.C. McMullen Jr.

Sad Weird Al meme by Bill Cassinelli


pb300For a pocket full of credits you can buy
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection
It’s a veritable trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller tales – plus bonus stories featuring: Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem!
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (AmazonBarnes & NobleDiesel!ndigoiTunesKoboBooksSmashwordsWHSmith, and more).
Buy the paperback at Amazon and the Kindle eBook is free!

Want more?
Buy WILLOW BLUE. It’s my second collection of critically acclaimed Supernatural and Drama Thriller short stories with all of the Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem, you’ve come to expect (or should by now). Available in paperback for $8.00 or in Kindle for only $1.99. Buy the paperback at Amazon and the Kindle eBook is free! The tales will last you longer than latte!

Crave even more?

Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.

Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself, as well as  John Carpenter, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, also the late  Ray Bradbury, Wes Craven, plus many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.