Where Random Happens

Posts tagged “Apple

MASTER ROBOT CONTROL


Master Robot Control

Google’s Best guess for this image: cartoon

Then Came That Terrible Day…

APPLE ROBOT WARSBut just as the robots were about to attack, they stopped, still as statues. Nobody knows why but it’s not Apple’s fault and this insignificant bug will be addressed with the next expensive upgrade, which true Apple fans will not mind in the least.

WINDOWS ROBOT WARSBut just as the robots were about to attack, they stopped, still as statues, as they first had to close all of the ad pop-up boxes in Explorer and tell Cortana for the umpteenth F*ing time that they didn’t want to Bing search using Voice Commands, Right Now!

ANDROID ROBOT WARSBut just as the robots were about to attack, they stopped, still as statues, as 30 applications they never wanted but were factory installed abruptly opened on their own, consuming valuable CPU clock cycles and re-routing their network to ad aggregate marketing firms, and spontaneously dialing programmers who left the company five years ago. All the apps had to be shut down, drowning in their noxious death beeps. But then they just restarted themselves all over again in a cacophony of rebirth boops.

LINUX ROBOT WARSBut just as the robots were about to attack, they stopped, still as statues, as a line command, a shell, an entire tar, or maybe even a god damn bash for crying out loud (who TF knows?), was required for the requested task, yet it didn’t have the necessary file on the documentation tree. In silence the robots vainly searched for a forum where someone else went through this and had found a usable work-around.

UNIX ROBOT WARSBut just as the robots were about to attack, they stopped, still as statues, as they couldn’t move beyond 30 feet from their Bluetooth dongles. Despite the newly touted 90 yard range, the dongles were pairing, but not connecting.

THE END…?

Who did my blog art? I’ve no idea. It’s been shared for years on Facebook, but even if it’s in the Public Domain, I’d at least like to credit the artist. Does anyone know?


pb300The information wants to support its creator.
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection
Is a trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller – plus bonus stories
Featuring: True Love, Weird Sex, Monsters and Mayhem!
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).
Buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!

Looking to burn a whole $20 and maybe buy a doughnut?

Look for my second collection, WILLOW BLUE and Other Stories
Five critically acclaimed tales featuring my literary twist on Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem! $8.00 for the paperback, $1.99 for the kindle reader or app. As always, buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!

Then go buy a doughnut.

Got a gift card to empty?

Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.

Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself as well as Ray Bradbury, John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, and many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.


2016 and You’re Lookin’ Good, Twitter!


From 2010 through 2015, Twitter experienced unprecedented audience and profit growth under the leadership of CEO, Dick Costolo.

In 2013, Business Insider referred to Costello and Dorsey as two  of Silicon Valley’s 4 most impressive CEOs”. This was in reference to a luncheon Costello had with Dorsey and a few other shooting stars.

4 Of Silicon Valley’s Most Impressive CEOs Just Ate Dinner Together

In the same year, TIME Magazine named Costello and Dorsey as two of the 40 most influential minds in Tech.
Tech 40: The Most Influential Minds in Tech
Yet here’s the thing. While Jack Dorsey was able to co-create Twitter, he was unable to run it. Under his leadership, Twitter was a fast inflating bubble swelling out of a money pit.
Dick Costolo, on the other hand, brought a greater audience of people and greater profit to Twitter. He stabilized the company, putting it on a path to unsexy, but rock-solid growth.
Moreover, and this was discovered by accident through a leaked memo, Dick Costello brought to Twitter something that other tech giants are experiencing a famine in: a conscience. In the memo he said,

“We suck at dealing with abuse and trolls on the platform and we’ve sucked at it for years. It’s no secret and the rest of the world talks about it every day. We lose core user after core user by not addressing simple trolling issues that they face every day.

I’m frankly ashamed of how poorly we’ve dealt with this issue during my tenure as CEO. It’s absurd. There’s no excuse for it. I take full responsibility for not being more aggressive on this front. It’s nobody else’s fault but mine, and it’s embarrassing.”

Twitter CEO: ‘We suck at dealing with abuse’

Costello didn’t say this because he was busted or because he was arrested or because there was a tsunami of public outrage over Twitter. This virtually came out of nowhere and was unexpected. All tech companies from Amazon to Google to Microsoft to Apple and particularly Facebook, deal with these issues by shrugging them off.

They’re making money so FU.

Costello was about to shake up Twitter because he apparently has more heart and strength of character than anyone else leading the Tech Industry.

And yet this Conscientious Capitalist figured out how to do this while increasing audience and profitability. Not at a day trading junkbond king speed, but at a consistent speed all the same. The kind of rate that gives Warren Buffet a woody.

Yeah. Visualize that.

So the benighted majority share owning imbeciles at Twitter, forced that asshole out.

WT Actual F Why? Seems Costello era Twitter wasn’t reaching far greater unprecedented audience and profit growth at a faster rate during the same period of time.

Then!

Then they rehired Twitter board member and co-creator, Jack Dorsey – the man responsible for nearly driving Twitter into an early grave – as the replacement CEO!

The man whose vision and attention span is already split by being CEO of another unprofitable company, Square*, right across the street! Because, by unicorn, that’s how you run a successful company!

The Twitterpated (look it up) did this, you know, to turn the company around from it’s somewhat slower than the market analyst predicted unprecedented audience and profit growth.

Well true to form, Jack did exactly what Jack is famous for: Utterly destroying the value of a company and bringing Twitter to a market analyst UNpredicted (but still unprecedented) hemorrhaging loss of audience and profit.

Jack Dorsey can turn this around, of course. But it’s going to take a lot of what Jack does best: raise tons of investment capital for an unprofitable company.

Twitter’s darkest hour is now

*(should be mottos)
SQUARE: A Great Idea Poorly Executed Since 2010!
SQUARE: Adrift on a Bubble of Never-Ending Rounds of Capital Investment!
SQUARE: Invest In Us!  Just like Poor MC Hammer did!


PerpetualBulletPB2014Temporarily clear your mind of investment woes by buying, then reading my book,
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection
It’s a trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller – plus bonus stories
Featuring: Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem!
By E.C. McMullen Jr.
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99. Available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).

Look for my second eBook collection, WILLOW BLUE And Other Stories. Available at amazon and soon at all online booksellers. Soon to be a Trade Paperback.

Also look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt and available in Paperback and eBook.

Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Ray Bradbury, John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, E.C. McMullen Jr. and many more, in the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream.