Where Random Happens

Science Fiction

SYNDROME IS A CREEP


Syndrome02

I’ve accused you of being what I am for so long…

Heh! Heh! Heh! Everyone believes me!

#SyndromeIsACreep


Obi Wan Can’t Remember


SWLukeNObiOne

Use the Force, Larry!


pb300Don’t get down to your last hope. Buy my book,
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection
A trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller – plus bonus stories
Featuring: True Love, Weird Sex, Monsters and Mayhem!
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).
Buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!

There’s still more hope for us!

Look for my second collection, WILLOW BLUE and Other Stories
Five critically acclaimed tales featuring my literary twist on Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem! $8.00 for the paperback, $1.99 for the kindle reader or app. As always, buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!

I hope you have more room

Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.

Hoping for still more?

Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself as well as Ray Bradbury, John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, and many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.


SYNDROME IS A CREEP


EveryoneIsANazi

Once we call everyone a NAZI…

Heh! Heh! Heh!

NO ONE IS!

#SyndromeIsACreep


Something to cheer you!


quarritch
We live as thieves and pirates because we destroyed our ability to create. We wiped the best and brightest from our world with fear and fire a long time ago, and there’s no point in looking back.

Now we’ve come to your world in search of resources, for we’ve lost the ability to create our own. Yet here we find that there is not enough to justify our journey: still, we shall take them anyway so you cannot have them.

My people are dying. There were more scientific advancements in the first 25 years of the 21st century than in the last 2 centuries since.

Since the 19th century we have been aware of the viability of fusion power, yet over 400 years later have still not solved its riddle. Because we worship instead of reason, oppress instead of uplift, war instead of build, we still do not know how to harness the power of our own sun, which expends more energy in a single second than entirety of all life on my planet has used up to this moment.

We passed three other stars to get here, so we do not come here to survive. We come here for the only purpose we embrace: bitterness, bigotry, rage, and jealousy. We claim that our strike against you is preemptive, though at your primitive level it took my kind tens of thousands of years to reach the point where you see us now.

That is our terror, that you will surpass us in mere centuries instead of hundreds of millennia. We kill what scares us and we will kill you and each other if it means the very last of us can stand over the dead and rule them.

This is our pride, this is us spitting into the face of a God we created to spite the legend and ourselves, for we have nothing else, and now know we never will.

War was, is, and always will be our angry, jealous God.


Starring KIC8462852


DR. FRISBEE: “Uh… distinguished assembly, alumni, and press. Oh, and my team, uh… hey gang.”

Murmuring silence.

DR. FRISBEE: “Ahem, this press announcement is in regards to star KIC8462852.

A few months ago it came to our attention that we at Harvard, being the only ones with the most thorough observations of Star KICK 84, as we call it, and so the only ones who could best track the anomaly.”

Errant Voice: “…Tabby’s Star, stupid…”

DR. FRISBEE: “A-hem! Uh… Oh hell, I’m not going to beat around the bush here.

It’s an error.”

Pin drop silence.

DR. FRISBEE: “The uh… both of the independent Johnson B light curves… the uh. From the old 24 inch Bruce Doublet to various refractors and reflectors  through the years… the sterling high quality lenses we use between the light captured and our cameras this entire time have been Cooke Lenses.”

Forbidding silence.

DR. FRISBEE: “Outstanding glass, over a century of visionary conceptual continuity, as they say.”

NASA REP.: “WHAT?!?

Uproar!

DR. FRISBEE: (nervous drink of water) “… but Cooke lenses do have this… have a very slight coating … only them. Proprietary, patented technology. Makes them special, among the best  but ah…”

NASA REP.: “No! No! No! Both the by-eye and DASCH confirmed…”

DR. FRISBEE: “DASCH is just Digital Access to a Sky Century @ Harvard. So the flaw is back on us.”

NASA REP.: “Our Kepler space telescope tracked the dimming and dips!”

DR. FRISBEE: “That’s a separate matter. I’m here to talk about Harvard’s contribution, which, I’m deeply sorry to say, is worthless.

HARVARD PROVOST: “That’s not possible!”

DR. FRISBEE: “Strictly on this specific matter, of course!”

MSNBC: “But the alien megastructures!”

BOB’s BLOG: “Please shut up. Grown-ups are speaking.”

Arguments break out! Dr. Frisbee waves his hands in the air to disrupt the outbreak of pedesis collisions in the room.

DR. FRISBEE: “Please!”

Chaos Sierpinskis into a semblance of order.

Errant Voice: “…Tabby’s team…”

DR. FRISBEE: “Ahem! PLEASE!  It’s ah… whew!  It’s always the little things, you know? Cooke’s ever-so-slight, yet unique coating, combined with our own proprietary, specially manufactured film stock and silver grain formulation, we at Harvard used until 1998, combined again with the unusual but certainly not altogether singular properties of an F-type main sequence star like KIC8462852… well it all dovetailed to give us the error.”

NASA REP.: “But the irregular dips! A century of fading! A Century!”

DR. FRISBEE: “Cooke kept improving their lens and coatings and we kept improving the quality of our – cough!  – film. Again, dovetailed.”

NASA REP.: “No! The irregular dips!-”

DR. FRISBEE: “Atmospheric conditions.”

NASA REP.: “We ruled those out!”

DR. FRISBEE: “And we were wrong.”

NASA REP.: “But other observatories!”

DR. FRISBEE: “Built on our foundation.”

NASA REP.: “No! No! Our Keplar! And… and other F-type main sequence stars don’t- ”

DR. FRISBEE: ( Hand raised to stop the Rep. ) “We’ve checked, re-checked, re-re-checked, and verified independently. It’s a false reading.”

NASA REP.: “But we’ve already spent tens of billions on the de Dondi telescope! The entire project! The thing does nothing *but* track KICK 84! It’s halfway to Mars orbit, already!”

Errant Voice: “…Tabby’s Star, damn it…”

DR. FRISBEE: “It’s uh… heh. It’s kinda funny when you think about it? Kinda like a modern day Martian canals or Parkes Observatory and their microwave?”

Riotous Uproar!

DR. FRISBEE: “Uh! Uh! I think it’s vitally important, in spirited moments like this, to remember that my team and I just started work here last year, you know.”

END

Copyright 2016, E.C. McMullen Jr.


PerpetualBulletPB2014Why be too clever only by half? Buy my book,
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection
It’s a trove of previously published, critically acclaimed Science Fiction Horror Thriller – plus bonus stories
Featuring: Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem!
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).

Look for my second eBook collection, WILLOW BLUE And Other Stories. Available at amazon and soon at all online booksellers. Soon to be a Trade Paperback.

Also look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt and available in Paperback and eBook.

Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Ray Bradbury, John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, E.C. McMullen Jr. and many more, in the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream.


STAR WARS I: The R-Rated Version


SWVadervsKenobi

VADER: “Your powers are weak, old man.”
OBI-WAN: “Nuff chit-chat. Get it up.”

Bzh!
Bzh!

VADER: “The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner -”

Bzh-Wahzh!

OBI-WAN: “The student.”
VADER: “WHAT?”
OBI-WAN: “You were the student, Vader. Student. Sheesh. ‘The Learner’.”

Bzh-Wahzh! Bzh!

VADER: “You CUT off my LEGS and left me to die on a bed of lava!”
OBI-WAN: “To stop you from KILLING me like you murdered everyone else, you big baby!

Bzh-Wahzh! Bzh-Wahzh! Wahzh!

OBI-WAN: “So ‘Wah!’  Hell, you’d already committed mass genocide and betrayed everyone whoever helped and trusted you.”
VADER: “Oh! Oh yeah? Well… huh! I… I didn’t betray the Emperor or Padme, now did I?”
OBI-WAN: “Emperor Palpatine? The Palpatine who murdered your Padme?”
Vader: “WHAT?”

Bzh! Katta! Katta! Katta! Bzh!

OBI-WAN: “By the Force you are such a fucking tool. Go on.”
VADER: “Wha-what?”
OBI-WAN: “The big speech you must have been practicing. ‘The circle is now complete, yadda, yadda.'”
VADER: “Now… now I … am the master…
OBI-WAN: “Of what, you hulking dupe?”

Bourgeoisie!

VADER: ” … ”

Schick! (turns off lightsaber and lets it fall to the deck.)

VADER: “Fuck it…”

Stormtrooper 1: “Da-amn…!”

OBI-WAN: “Now what? Going off to cry about how you spent your life betraying your Padme?”
VADER: “You’re an asshole!”
OBI-WAN: “Cry me a fucking river, jackass! You helped slaughter an entire planet of innocent people. You helped wipe out the entire history of billions! Nobody is going to ever care about you. If Amidala were alive she’d kill you herself and you know it!”

Vader walks away crying.

Stormtrooper 2: “Uh… gang? Maybe we should leave.”
Stormtrooper 3: “With all this being ship recorded? Yeah, you first!”

Obi toggles off his lightsaber and walks up to the Falcon where the others are. The assembled Stormtroopers give him a wide birth.

LUKE: “So-o-o … you two had some history, huh?”
OBI-WAN: “Let’s just blow this damned thing up.”
HAN: “Hey, uh… do I get a bonus or…”

Obi glares at Han.

CHEWBACCA: “URGH!”
HAN: “Or… something.”
CHEWBACCA: “A MUSIC WAR!”
OBI-WAN: (walking up the ramp) “By the way, Luke. You and Leia are siblings.”
LUKE and LEIA: “WHAT?”
R2 D2: “Deedle-TWEET?”
C-3PO: “Oh My!”
OBI-WAN: “I lied about Vader killing your father. Vader back there is your father. Padme was your Mother.”
LUKE and LEIA: “WHAT?!?”
HAN: “Really? Hm. So, uh, Princess…”

END


pb300You’ll find no fan fiction in my book
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection
A trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller – plus bonus stories
Featuring: True Love, Weird Sex, Monsters and Mayhem!
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).
Buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!

Burning for more?

Look for my second collection, WILLOW BLUE and Other Stories
Five critically acclaimed tales featuring my literary twist on Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem! $8.00 for the paperback, $1.99 for the kindle reader or app. As always, buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!

Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.

Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself as well as Ray Bradbury, John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, and many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.


MILLENNIUM


SadWeirdAlSing to the tune of Rob Zombie’s DRAGULA

MILLENNIUM
Leia’s back again, afraid of Kylo Ren
Different shades of Force, that’s the same of course
Chewie’s back and how, lookin’ younger now
Han is old and gray, guess he’ll stay that way

Light up your saber
and fight off the labor
of clones chasing after my
Millennium

Light up your saber
and fight off the labor
of clones chasing after my
Millennium

Han has got to say, a thing to Finn and Rey
Is it truth or con? Ask Poe Dameron
Artoo and Threepio, some scavenger called Teedo
Ackbar and Kanata, I didn’t say Canada

Light up your saber
and fight off the labor
of clones chasing after my
Millennium

Light up your saber
and fight off the labor
of clones chasing after my
Millennium

A-Skywalker’s here somewhere
A-Skywalker’s here somewhere
We’re not sure what’s going on

Abrams says this is great, said that of SUPER 8
More stupid Star Trek Flares, think the guy’s unawares?
Snoke, Hux, and San Tekka, and a Captain Phasma
Hoping they’ll raise the bar, oh crap another Death Star

A-Skywalker’s here somewhere
A-Skywalker’s here somewhere
We’re not sure what’s going on

A-Skywalker’s here somewhere
A-Skywalker’s here somewhere
We’re not sure what’s going on

Light up your saber
and fight off the labor
of clones chasing after my
Millennium

Light up your saber
and fight off the labor
of clones chasing after my
Millennium

Light up your saber
and fight off the labor
of clones chasing after my
Millennium

Parody by E.C. McMullen Jr.

Sad Weird Al meme by Bill Cassinelli


PerpetualBulletPB2014You won’t find any Star Wars fantasy in my book
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection
It’s a trove of critically acclaimed, previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller – plus bonus stories
Featuring: Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem!
By E.C. McMullen Jr.
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $2.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).

Also look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt and available in Paperback and eBook.

Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Ray Bradbury, John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, E.C. McMullen Jr. and many more, in the two volume film making guidebooks, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream (Vol. 1 & 2).


This looks like a job for BONES IN SPA-A-A-ACE!


AARP, NASA Look At Bones In Space Aboard ISS
2014-blog_A_ISS-Crew-Expedition-41
BONES: “God damn it, Jim! I’m a just a small country doctor!”
JIM: “Yeah. Beats me why, the hell the, Federation, would ever, put you in charge of medicine, on a Sovereign-class, starship.”
BONES: “I was drafted!”
JIM: “Whew! Somebody in the, high command, really screwed the pooch, over you.”
BONES: “I can’t even cure the common cold!”
SPOCK: “The Common Cold Was Cured Over 100 Years Ago.”
BONES: “Oh. BUT I DIDN’T KNOW THAT! I’m just a small -“
JIM & SPOCK: “- Country doctor.”
JIM: “Yeah, we got it.”
SPOCK: “Well This Has Been Stimulating. I’m Going Back To My Control And Look In My Blue Light View Thing.”
JIM: “About that, Spock. What is, that thing, exactly?”
SPOCK: “It’s Just A Glorified Viewmaster, Captain.”
JIM: “Oh.”
SPOCK: “Pretty Archaic, Actually.”
BONES: “Could be worse. Uhura wears a salt shaker in her ear.”
SPOCK: “Yes, I Have One Of Those Too.”
JIM: “I’ve got five, god damn years, of this left, to go.”
BONES: “Three if we’re lucky.”


PerpetualBulletPB2014Want more? Get my book
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection
A trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller – plus bonus stories
Featuring: Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem!
By E.C. McMullen Jr.
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).

Also look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt and available in Paperback and eBook.

Looking for a great guidebook on filmmaking? Interviews with Ray Bradbury, Wes Craven, John Carpenter, Tom Holland, George A. Romero, me, and many others in HORROR 201: The Silver Scream Vol.’s 1 & 2.


JUPITER RISING EXTENDED TRAILER


WB Big Cheese: “We need to lose money in a really *really* big way! But we need to make it look like a calculated gamble. So find me a director who hasn’t had a hit in at least 10 years and has zero audience.”
Board Suit01: “Do you really need to ask?”
WB Big Cheese: “Heh! Heh! No.”

Strikes a dramatic finger pointing pose to infinity and beyond

WB Big Cheese: “Get me the Warchowski Brothers!”
Board Suit02: “They’re not brothers anymore.”
WB Big Cheese: “Oh, right… er… sisters.”
Board Suit03: “One is still a guy.”
WB Big Cheese: “Ah… uh… oh fuck it! Just get me the freakshow!”

Overly melodramatic gasp goes up from everyone at the table.

WB Big Cheese: “OoooOOooh! Am I going to get Sea Lioned by (finger quotes with a knowing wink & smirk) North Korea?”

Big laugh around the table.


PerpetualBulletPB2014Want more? Get my book
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection
A trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller – plus bonus stories
Featuring: Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem!
By E.C. McMullen Jr.
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).

Also look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt and available in Paperback and eBook.

Looking for a great guidebook on filmmaking? Interviews with Ray Bradbury, Wes Craven, John Carpenter, Tom Holland, George A. Romero, me, and many others in HORROR 201: The Silver Scream Vol.’s 1 & 2.


BIG HONKIN’ STAR WARS MILLENNIUM FALCON


It begins like this.

I was on Facebook, minding my own affairs. When this ad from !!!TRIGGER WARNING!!! Walmart, caught me unawares.

WalMartMF

That was the biggest Millennium Falcon toy I ever saw. I recall talk about selling such a big freaking wookie of a toy, but I think this was the biggest wookie of a M.F. spaceship yet!

I was so impressed I posted this,

FBSWMFWalMartThis is my sense of humor, it’s the way I joke.

But then this happened,

HSFAMFHank Schwaeble is the Bram Stoker award winning writer of the novel, DAMNABLE. He is used to my kind of joking, and year after year jokes back in the same vein.

So when he said this,

HSMCI came back with this!

FAToyJoking aside, this is the Star Wars geek version of promising to introduce me to Halle Berry (STORM!). Don’t joke around about a thing like that!

But Hank said,

HS2Today is Monday, December 15, 2014. So what did I get in my email today? A forward from Hank.

GreatNewsHoly crap! Is this for real? Is this a joke?

Dare I freaking dream?

Let’s be clear here.

This is a massive scale toy for children (*wink! wink!*).

star-wars-poster For children who sat enthralled in their theater seats in the 1970s and 1980s, watching the most awesome movie they had ever seen in their lives!

So I went to my local Walmart, and lo and behold, this is what I brought back!

FeoSWSo yes, my buddy Hank Schwaebel loves me!

HSFA