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Goodbye Mr. Franken?


Sen. Al Franken Announces He Will Resign

There are so many ways that Al could have handled this successfully, and I’m sure that many of his supporters are also aware of them and remain dumbfounded that Al did not.

Al has spent the overwhelming majority of his adulthood as a professional comic. Overall, he hasn’t denied most of the claims against him and, in some cases admits to them. That is the overwhelming difference between him and people, like Trump and Moore, who claim their innocence.

To be clear: Nothing Franken is being accused of comes anywhere close to what Louis C.K.  has admitted to. One woman is upset that Al attempted to give her a kiss – a mere kiss attempt – after doing a radio show*.

Holy fucking crap! She’s scarred ten plus years later over an attempted kiss?

Do we really want to usher in such a cold and repressed era as that?

*Al denies this one.

Worse, not only does Franken not deny culpability in may of these accusations, but he’s having difficulty apologizing.

Why?

You can never say “I’m sorry,” for something you don’t remember, because it can never be sincere.

I have no recollection of that but I’m sorry I did it?

That’s worthless.

It’s not enough to apologize, you have to acknowledge the hurt you caused someone. And you have to know the difference between someone you genuinely hurt and someone who is pretending to be hurt (and there are plenty of those types as well).

If you apologize to both equally then you might as well go around saying you love and trust everyone.

Nobody loves and trusts everyone and saying that minimizes the value of your love and trust for those people in your life who have earned it.

Al Franken is a writer! He should have succinctly drawn upon his decades of plying his trade as a professional comic and simply said,

‘I spent my life trying to make people laugh. During that time I tried everything I thought might work, almost all of it unscripted, spur of the moment. As with all people in my line of work, there were times when I made everyone happy and those moments where the joke fell flat and I humiliated myself. Comics live and die on the public stage of audience judgement, whether that audience is three people or millions, and I’ve lived through both and everything in between.

Not a single one of my constituents were unaware of my past life. It likely helped. Further, I feel my re-election is proof that the voters recognize how seriously I’ve embraced my new role as their representative.

Did I represent my people as the class clown of the Senate? Probably. There are more than a few clowns in the Senate, but at least I’m a professional. However, I never mocked my supporters, their lives, and their concerns.

Still, no one stops being who they are when they take this or any job.

As a comic, and exempting hecklers – who have it coming – I’ve always sought to make myself the butt of every joke. If I ever hurt anyone with a joke, that failure was entirely my own and never reflected on you.’

I think that’s all anyone needed to hear. All of the women who feel they were hurt, just need to know that Al Franken wasn’t intentionally demeaning them. He meant no harm. He’s an entertainer, a prankster, and a joker, but he isn’t the mean kid in high school who humiliates you in front of everyone.

When this story broke, Al first issued a purely defensive non-apology apology, before issuing a sincere one. The woman of the now infamous photograph accepted. I’m not mentioning her name because she’s been on the ugly receiving end of callous conspiracy rumor mongering blow back that she doesn’t deserve. Al has already owned up to it. That’s it.

Unfortunately we live in an ignorant era of oppressive/repressive scolds where anyone’s dismissive hair-brained feelings overcome reason; instant finger-snap morality equals rational intellect, outright lies are left unexamined because feelings, and this ideal has largely found its home among liberals. Many top stand up comics are refusing work for no other reason but that their humor will now be scrutinized under the harshest light, for the sole purpose of destroying the one who said it.

This is the house where Al Franken lives. Because he lives there, he’s adopted their standards – whether he agrees with them or not. Because he adopted their standards, he shied from being himself and chose to throw himself upon their mercy and forgiveness. These standards of intolerance have neither.

He is white, he is old, he is a man.

Because of this, he’s painted his fellow Democrats – who are fully cognizant that he’s no harassing Bill Clinton – into a corner they cannot escape unscathed. They live in the same house. In this case it’s not about betrayal for the sake of naked political ambition, it’s about check and balance scales of power already corroding the weight on the Democratic Party side.

There are many who don’t want Senator Al Franken to go, but they can’t reconcile their acceptance of him without damaging the ever growing intolerance commandments they nurture.

Where even so much as an unwanted kiss is a crime.

@senatoralfranken  @TeamAlFranken  @SenFranken

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1968: NASA Chooses the First Men


Neil Armstrong

So back in the 1960s, the decision makers at NASA (National Aeronautics and Space Administration) looked at the top candidates, all of whom were the best on the planet to guide the lander to a safe place and make that first step, and found themselves stumped.

There was no one out of the 29 candidates who singularly possessed any particular skill set that the others couldn’t equally match with their own excellent skill set.

Finally Flight Director GENE KRANZ said, “I dunno. You want to draw straws?”
ROCKET SCIENTIST: “Please! We’re men of science.”
CRYPTOGRAPHER: “How about Cryptography on their names? You never know what you might come up with?”
NASA Administrator THOMAS O. PAINE: “Right. Why not numerology?”
CRYPTOGRAPHER: “Hey now!”
LINGUISTICS (holds pencil thoughtfully): “How about Semordnilap?”
ALL: “A what?”
LINGUISTICS: “Semordnilap.” (writes in the air) “You reverse a word or words to make new words. You want to try it on their names?”
ROCKET SCIENTIST: “Real clever. Linguistics! Why are you even part of this? Do we have a mission critical crossword puzzle to be – ”
WERNHER VON BRAUN: “I’d like to hear more about this, actually.”
LINGUISTICS (proudly): “Semordnilap has always been a part of secret coding.”
CRYPTOGRAPHER: “Well that’s true.”
LINGUISTICS (prouder-ly): “Semordnilap itself is a reverse of the word ‘palindromes’. You can intentionally hide entire sentences or coded words within another word. But often you find words already exist in a sentence, and sometimes even make sense, in the reverse of a sentence or a group of words, like a name.”
WERNHER VON BRAUN: “As someone whose country was significantly defeated by cryptographers, I’d like to try this.”

Cryptographer and Linguistics beam with pride at each other.

ROCKET SCIENTIST (sotto voce): “Don’t puff up. You were just flattered by a NAZI.”
GENE KRANZ: “Hey, watch it, you!”
ROCKET SCIENTIST: “Sorry.”
WERNHER VON BRAUN: “I’m used to it.”
THOMAS O. PAINE: “Well ol Edwin Eugene Buzz Aldrin has to be one of them.”
LINGUISTICS: “What? Why?”
THOMAS O. PAINE: “His Mother’s maiden name was Marion *Moon*.”
LINGUISTICS: “No way!”
ROCKET SCIENTIST: “You of all people didn’t know?”
LINGUISTICS: (challenging glare) “You really want to mix it up, don’t you? Well I’m game!”
GENE KRANZ: “Ahem ! And with a nickname like Buzz?”
THOMAS O. PAINE: “Well that’s just too much cool not to have him there. But don’t ever let him know I said that. Okay, let’s try this Snerdlap and -”
LINGUISTICS: “Semordnilap.”
THOMAS O. PAINE: “Right, and see if we can find the other guy.”
CRYPTOGRAPHER: “I’m working through this already. Check it out. ‘Gnorts Mr. Alien’.”
WERNHER VON BRAUN: “Vas?”
CRYPTOGRAPHER: “Neil Armstrong, spelled backwards.”
WERNHER VON BRAUN: “Mr. Alien… Ha! Vunderbar! I like that.”
GENE KRANZ: “Me too. The first two earth men on the Moon are Buzz Moon and Mr. Alien. That’s great!”
LINGUISTICS: “But what’s Gnorts?”
ROCKET SCIENTIST: “Your Mother.”
LINGUISTICS (slams pencil): THAT’S IT! IT’S GO TIME!”

THE END


pb300Welcome to
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection?
It’s a veritable trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller tales – plus bonus stories
Featuring: Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem!
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).
Buy the paperback at Amazon and the Kindle eBook is free!

Want more?

Buy WILLOW BLUE. It’s my second collection of critically acclaimed Supernatural and Drama Thriller short stories with all of the Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem, you’ve come to expect (or should by now). Available in paperback for $8.00 or in Kindle for only $1.99. Buy the paperback at Amazon and the Kindle eBook is free! The tales will last you longer than latte!

Is Your Hunger Insatiable?

Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.

Exploit These Resources!

Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself, as well as  John Carpenter, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, also the late  Ray Bradbury, Wes Craven, plus many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.

 


CALL FROM NEW YORK


I'll be your Bartender today

I got a call from New York.

On the message they left I could make out my somewhat enunciated name and the number I should call back. The rest of the message was the worst mangling of the English language I’d ever heard in my life!

It was like someone with a mouthful of marbles trying to speak to me while gargling: Fully unintelligible.

Minutes later they called back a second time, sounded like the same person, again enunciating my name and the phone number I should call, and obliterating everything else.

I can’t even guess at the accent: Anything from German to Pakistani.

It’s actually angered me so much that I blocked their freaking number.

Gargling at me with a mouthful of marbles? How DARE you speak to me that way?

END


wb2016Enjoy refreshingly clear communication when you buy my book, WILLOW BLUE.
It’s my second collection of critically acclaimed short stories with all of the Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem, you’ve come to expect (or should by now). Available in paperback for $8.00 or in Kindle for only $1.99. Buy the paperback at Amazon and the Kindle eBook is free! The tales will last you longer than latte!

Own it and want more? Buy
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection.
It’s a veritable trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller tales – plus bonus stories
Featuring: Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem!
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).
Buy the paperback at Amazon and the Kindle eBook is free!

Have you become a fan?

Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.

Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself, as well as  John Carpenter, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, also the late  Ray Bradbury, Wes Craven, plus many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.


PANDORA


PandoraLogoToday I’m in the mood for electronic music. So I go to my Synergy station at Pandora.

In addition to Synergy they also play a song by Tangerine Dream. I adore the music of Tangerine Dream so I give the song a Thumbs Up!

Mm. That song was from SORCERER soundtrack. So now I get another electronic soundtrack tune from THE MATRIX. Thumbs Up too.

Oh Noes! Pandora thinks I like Soundtracks!

Now I’m getting flooded with music to Ben Hur and Sound of Music!
Thumbs Down! Thumbs Down!

I get an ad. That will teach me.

Next I’m given an electronic tune by Mantronix. That’s more like it. Thumbs Up.
Roger? Sure. Thumbs Up.

Oh Noes! Pandora thinks I like … black boy bands?!?

Now I’m flooded with Tony! Toni! Tone! and H-Town and … Cameo? Seriously?
Thumbs Down! Thumbs Down! Thumbs Down!

Oh Noes!

I’ve reached the limit of Thumbs Down that Pandora will accept! I have to take whatever they give me next without rejection.

So after the ad?

A Broadway Show tune from … RENT?!?

GAHH!!!

Pandora300

Pandora by John William Waterhouse – 1896

END


wb2016Open the lid on your very own box of evil when you buy my book, WILLOW BLUE.
It’s my second collection of critically acclaimed short stories with all of the Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem, you’ve come to expect (or should by now). Available in paperback for $8.00 or in Kindle for only $1.99. Buy the paperback at Amazon and the Kindle eBook is free! The tales will last you longer than latte!

Addicted already? Buy
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection.
It’s a veritable trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller tales – plus bonus stories
Featuring: Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem!
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).
Buy the paperback at Amazon and the Kindle eBook is free!

Have you become a fan?

Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.

Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself, as well as  John Carpenter, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, also the late  Ray Bradbury, Wes Craven, plus many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.


Take Me To The Other Side


654241main1_p1220b3k-673

NASA’s Hubble Shows Milky Way is Destined for Head-On Collision

As we look through our telescopes at the wide expanse and variety of space, one of the things that captures our attention and imagination are galaxies that have captured each other (like Galaxy NGC 6052). The enormity of these stellar star crashes are boggling. In fact, they happen often enough that we identify the various types.

Stay with me, here.

Satellite interaction –

A giant galaxy interacting with its satellites. More common than you might think, our own Milky Way galaxy is currently interacting with the Sagittarius Dwarf Elliptical Galaxy. In fact, the SDEG is diving right into our galaxy like the idiot who thinks if he purposefully falls into the pool at a party, that will make him the Life of the Party (instead of the death of his social life). But that’s not all.

Galaxy collision –

Galaxies of relatively equal size collide, either forming new galaxies (merge) or tearing each other apart or a combination of the two, where one galaxy grows from the ordeal and the other is scattered to the cosmos. Like getting married.

Galactic cannibalism –

One galaxy, through tidal gravitational interaction, and while remaining relatively unchanged, rips apart and swallows a smaller galaxy. Like cannibalism. Cannibalism is cannibalism and tragically, the relationship analogies I’m using still apply.

Galaxy harassment –

A type of interaction between a low-luminosity galaxy and a brighter one. This often happens in areas of high density galaxy clusters where many galaxies are on their various paths and all crashing into each other like a roomful of drunken party guests all looking for the bathroom or the kitchen.

The eventual result of these messy get-togethers is usually dwarf spheroidals and dwarf ellipticals.

(For more detail with less glib, check out Wikipedia)

So what about our Milky Way? Is it possible that, at the far end of our galaxy, we may already be crashing, stripping, swallowing, or being swallowed by another galaxy?

I wrote a short story a few years ago where just this sort of thing was happening.

In my story, once scientists realized it, many decided to pursue different hypothesis to see if they could come up with a predictive model. Many had the idea that if such a thing were happening, perhaps it had already been happening long enough that other forces, like gravitational echoes of tidal forces, could be detected. It would take a novel approach to determine this. Naturally to make the story interesting, I chose the most far-fetched hypothesis to drive the story.

One of my editors immediately shut me down on the science of it all. Fair enough, but why?

This editor, who fancies himself brilliant due to his bachelor’s degree, sneered, “If we were crashing into another galaxy we would see it.”

First off, we do see it. We are heading for a collision with the Andromeda Galaxy. It won’t happen for another four billion years or so, as Andromeda, aka NGC 224, is 2.5 million light years from us. Also bear in mind that an awful lot can happen, even on a cosmic scale, in 4 billion years.

So yes, under certain situations we would see a galaxy heading toward us or crashing into us. Under other situations we absolutely would not see it.

This is why,

Milky Way, Andromeda, and all other galaxies in our little cluster are all heading to a certain point we call The Great Attractor. There’s at least one at every party, and if there are two, they either get together or hate each other.

What is the Great Attractor? We don’t know. We can’t see it.

Why can’t we see it?

It’s at the opposite end of our galaxy and the Milky Way is blocking our view. Our own galaxy blocks our view of plenty of the sky that lies behind it, and when you are talking about our solar system’s place in the galaxy, and the size of our galaxy, it’s like standing next to a wall.

There is a whole lot to see in ALL other directions that are not wall. But where wall is concerned, what is on the other side remains a mystery. If something is rushing toward wall from the other side, we won’t know about it until it smashes through and clobbers us.

So that particular editor I speak of is an unimaginative dimwit. A dimwit with a bachelor’s degree, but these things happen.

Anyway, what COULD be the Great Attractor? What in our universe is capable of pulling ginormous galaxies toward it? Is it one hell of a huge black hole, one so big that it would swallow our entire Local Group cluster in a single gulp? Like, for example, The Eridanus Void?

EridanusVoid

dailygalaxy.com

Could be. Or it may just be another cluster of galaxies, like the Shapeley Supercluster. (we’re in the Virgo Supercluster which, in turn, is part of the significantly larger  Laniakea Supercluster). Whatever it is, the Milky Way, the Andromeda Galaxy, and the Great Attractor, along with many other galaxies, are all going to make contact at about the same time (cosmologically speaking).

Shapeley

ESA & Planck Collaboration / Rosat/ Digitised Sky Survey

In fact, one theory posits that whatever the Great Attractor is, our galaxy and the rest are going to sail right past it, or perhaps sail right with it, into the Shapeley Supercluster.

However, this confusion will be short lived because in around 50,000 or so years, we should have a much better view of the situation.

So stay with me here, because that ALONE is just ONE great reason for being an immortal.

END


pb300Want more Horrific Science in your Science Fiction Horror? Buy
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection
It’s a trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller – plus bonus stories
Featuring: True Love, Weird Sex, Monsters and Mayhem!
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).
Buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!

Want to bring two books together?

Look for my second collection, WILLOW BLUE and Other Stories
Five critically acclaimed tales featuring my literary twist on Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem! $8.00 for the paperback, $1.99 for the kindle reader or app. As always, buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!

Want to bring all of my writing together?

Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.

Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself as well as Ray Bradbury, John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, and many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.

 


Ernest said…


ErnestHemingway_FeoAmante

“The first draft of anything is always shit… always.”
– Ernest Hemingway

Well that’s depressing.

I’m the first child.


UNIVERSAL PERSPECTIVE


Referring back to my blog on June 6th, The Distance Between Us, here is a visual perspective I found all over the Internet in various stages. I don’t know who began this, I do know the full creation has been a group effort (probably thanks to either the Reddit or 4Chan communities or both).

Then some goof added the lame last stage, a cosmic yet local punchline to it all (probably thanks to either the Reddit or 4Chan…)perspective

COMEDY –

I used to work in Comedy. I went pro and got as far as Feature comic (middle between Opener and Headliner) before I gave it up for marriage. I preferred sleeping in a bed with my wife to sleeping in the same room with a bunch of young faux-worldly semi-psychos, vigorously pursuing various addictions to see which one agreed with them, and all crammed together in a Roach & Rat infested Comedy Condo.

As I pursued this path, aging Headliners who never quite got a TV or movie gig (but were sagely comfy with the addiction their youthful fool-self found for them), would scare up a few extra bucks by teaching method comedy to the rest of us. Everything from setting up the punchline, callbacks, to something as seemingly simple (but unbelievably important) as Microphone Etiquette.

Seriously, to people who have never performed professionally with a microphone onstage? You have no idea how simple a thing as the way you hold your mike throughout a performance can enhance – OR – torpedo your act.

Depending on the headliners that month, I’d scrounge to pay my $50 per class at least once a month, sometimes twice. I was serious about the clown craft.

That punchline up there? That would get silence. Crickets would chirp.

Perhaps a few self-styled posturing atheists in the crowd would laugh uproariously because they secretly believed in a God, but were calling themselves atheist because they were Mad at “him” and thought disavowal would hurt “his” feelings.

Huh! God has cheesed me off! Well I’ll show HIM!

Anyone in the crowd who was a god believer and had more than a cursory knowledge of the New Testament might openly scoff.

You can misquote someone and make it work, but it has to be a misquote that still defines or encapsulates what they would say or how they talk.

Tina Fey misquoted Sarah Palin for laughs and it worked, not because Sarah actually said “I Can See Russia from My House”, but because the carefully molded media narrative of the time made it seem like that was something Palin would say.

NEW TESTAMENT –

“Don’t masturbate” doesn’t remotely seem like something Jesus would say. The New Testament pretty much smashes the Old Testament. Throughout the NT, Jesus, while surrounded by all manner of sinners Guy *and* Gal, is constantly revising the ancient laws and confounding all who confront him or try to trip him up with the old text.

Whether or not you believe in the Bible (and I don’t care one way or the other), the New Testament gives readers a clear-eyed view of those who pretend to be Christian, yet gleefully deny him to spout contradictory OT whenever the gospel of JC doesn’t suit them. Particularly for unbelievers, the NT is a step by step method of spotting the self-righteous phonies who come at you.

The image above has a wonderful setup, but a flop punchline.

END


wb2016If you believe you enjoy my writing, buy my book,
WILLOW BLUE.
It’s my second collection of critically acclaimed short stories with all of the Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem, you’ve come to expect (or should by now). Available in paperback for $8.00 or in Kindle for only $1.99. Buy the paperback at Amazon and the Kindle eBook is free! The tales will last you longer than latte!

Enthused for more? Buy
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection.
It’s a veritable trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller tales – plus bonus stories
Featuring: Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem!
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).
Buy the paperback at Amazon and the Kindle eBook is free!

Have you become a fan?

Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.

Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself, as well as  John Carpenter, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, also the late  Ray Bradbury, Wes Craven, plus many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.


IF SOMEONE HAS MORE…


If A PERSON HAS MORE

Satire on the “If Someone Has More Than Me” meme-

If A Man has a House Stacked to the Ceiling with Newspapers, We Call Him Crazy

If A Woman has a Trailer House full of Cats, We Call Her Nuts

When People Pathologically Hoard so much Cash that they Impoverish Others, We put them on the cover of Fortune Magazine and pretend they are Role Models

If Someone has a House Stacked to the Ceiling with Books, Ok, Where ever this is going, I Think I’m Being Insulted!


THE DISTANCE BETWEEN US


SpaceMapPlanets

I’d like to take a moment to mention scale. See that NASA approved map of our solar system? Lots of kids buy that at NASA in Florida, Alabama, Houston, and hang it on their wall.

Now you and I know it’s not to scale. Hell, we ALL know it’s not to scale. But damn, how many people appreciate just how far off the chart this map really is?

Wildly Inaccurate doesn’t begin to describe it.

By scale I mean, in this case, sizes and distance. People see posters of our solar system like the NASA approved one above and may read the fine print that accurately tells them the sizes and distances, but they still don’t have a clear frame of reference.

You tell them of the miles each planet is from the sun and they nod. Then you later find out they didn’t really Get It. Then they go off and make “intelligent” movies like THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL, where movie critics say, “Gosh! That’s smart science fiction!”

NO! No it is not.MichaelRennieOn that NASA approved poster, the visual scale of both planet size and distance is so grossly exaggerated to an astronomical scale that most folks don’t understand just HOW horribly exaggerated it really is.

The mistakes of distance and scale of our solar system, even to people who write Science Fiction, dominate literature and cinema.

So I want to talk scale in regards to size and distance. Planet sizes in the following images are rounded up to the nearest pixel.GroupDISTANCE-

I’m talking approximate distance, averaged out, since the planets (except for Mercury) are on a long elliptical, not basically circular, orbits around Sol (even our moon travels an elliptical orbit around earth). Also, some orbits are more elongated than others.

Earth40pxEarth is approx. 98 million miles from the sun. 98 Million Freaking Miles. If you could launch from the surface of the sun and were traveling as fast as the International Space Station, 5 miles a second or 17,150 miles an hour, it would take you the better part of a year, a little over 238 days or approximately 7 months, to reach the earth. That 98 million miles from Sol puts us around 30,760,000 miles from Venus and 43,100,000 miles from –

Mars22pxMars, at nearly half the size of earth, is 141,100,00 miles from the sun. We’re closer to Mars than our own sun.

Jupiter448pxJupiter at 483 million miles from Sol, and 2.5 times more massive than all of our other planets combined, is about 4 times farther from earth – 385 million miles – than we are from the Sun, and close to three times farther from Mars than Mars is from the sun.

Okay, so now we’re in the realm of Jovian planets, and this bears repeating: all solar system maps I’ve ever seen – and I’ve seen plenty – are visually inaccurate to a fantastic degree. They all give the proper numbers in distance, but we should really understand the distances here.

Saturn225pxlSaturn, Jupiter’s closest Jovian neighbor, is slightly more than half the size of Jupiter (not counting rings, of course) and over 888 million miles from the sun.

The distance I’m talking here means that Jupiter is closer to earth (385 million miles) than it is to Saturn (405 million miles).

Uranus160pxlNext is Uranus, which is 1.784 billion miles from Sol, making it farther from Saturn (896 million miles), than Saturn is from the sun.

Let me repeat and bold a few things here.
Saturn is about 888 million miles from the sun and Uranus is 896 million miles from Saturn.
Not only is Jupiter closer to earth than it is to Saturn, even Saturn is closer to the sun than Uranus is to Saturn.

You’ve likely read or heard that planets Mercury through Mars are the “inner” planets. That’s true enough but now we clearly understand “inner planets” doesn’t visually paint the whole picture in context, when far flung Saturn is closer to Sol than the very next planet beyond it – Uranus.

It took the straight shot of the Voyager crafts (1 & 2) about 1 year and 3 months to reach Saturn. They reached a maximum traveling velocity of approximately 38,000 miles an hour, they flew 24/7 non-stop, that entire time, and it took a year and three months.

Neptune159pxFinally there is Neptune, which is 2.795 billion miles from the sun. Making Neptune farther from it’s closest Jovian neighbor, Uranus, than Uranus is from Saturn which, again, is closer to the sun than it is to Uranus.

The relative distances between all of the planets of Mercury through Saturn, can fit with plenty of room to spare between the orbits of Uranus and Neptune.

To put that another way, if Uranus was the sun, Neptune would be farther from Uranus/sun (over 1 billion miles) than Saturn actually is from Sol.

Those poster maps of our solar system aren’t even close!

TAKE A TRIP!

How long would it take you to reach Pluto if you could travel twice the speed of light?

Find out at Josh Worth’s award winning webpage,

moonpixel2

REFERENCES –

There are many known planets beyond our solar system, xkcd offers their relative sizes compared to our own.

All space images from NASA archives, used in accordance with NASA’s Media Usage Guidelines.

The Day The Earth Stood Still, 20th Century Fox.
Pandorum, Constantin Film and Impact Pictures

TOOLS –
https://ssd.jpl.nasa.gov/horizons.cgi

END


pb300Do you personally wish there was some way you could thank me for this blog?
Lucky for you, there is! Buy my book,
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection
Is a trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller – plus bonus stories
Featuring: True Love, Weird Sex, Monsters and Mayhem!
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).
Buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!

Do you have too much change left over from that $20?

Look for my second collection, WILLOW BLUE and Other Stories
Five critically acclaimed tales featuring my literary twist on Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem! $8.00 for the paperback, $1.99 for the kindle reader or app. As always, buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!

Do you have a gift card to empty?

Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.

Would you also like to read more of my non-fiction?

Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself as well as Ray Bradbury, John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, and many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.


Musical Neighbors


3AM

Ah… this brings back memories.

I once lived in an apartment below a group of musicians. I too was a musician and was sharing the monthly costs, with my bandmates, for a storeroom where we could practice.

But these guys, who were a House band for a club on the other end of town, would come back from a gig at 2 or 3am on a Saturday, Sunday, & Monday morning, and start partying with the groupies.

I was polite the first four times.

I was stern the fifth time.

On the sixth time, I got out of bed, went straight up to their apartment without getting dressed first (which means I was naked), banged loudly on the door, and heard the idiots inside loudly, Stonedly, telling each other “Sh! Sh! Sh!”

My neighbor opened the door with the expression and posture of one who is faking both sober and innocent. Then he realized what he was seeing and his posture fell apart.

Brad: “JESUS CHRIST, MAN!”

Me: “Brad, I have no problem letting my band come over -”

Brad: “Holy FUCK! You’re naked!?! What the FUCK?!?

Me: “Shut up. I have no problem letting my band come over and practice while you are trying to sleep before a gig.”

I stepped into his apartment. Everybody was silent.

Brad: “What’s WRONG with you, dude? Get some fucking clothes-“

Me: “Shut up. So now I AM going to practice full blast while you are trying to sleep before your weekend gigs.”

Brad: “Put some fucking clothes on, man!”

Me: “Unless I too have a gig that night, I am going to practice full blast during the day while you are trying to sleep for every god damn night of your gigs. Our neighbors will be enjoying their weekend during the day while my band and I practice. So who do you think they will complain about? Me or you?”

Brad: “I’m fucking reporting you to the fucking manager!”

Me: “Well you should do that right now, Brad! Because she’s up! You woke her! I know! She was coming out of her apartment when she saw me and dodged right back in!

Brad: “. . .”

Me: “She’s probably already called the cops.”

Brad: “. . .!”

Me: “With this fog of pot in here, you should probably fumigate your place down with Lysol! Why? Because Lysol will Really make the cops CRAZY suspicious when they talk to you. See if you can talk while holding your breath, too! Good luck keeping your House gig at Wild Wild West.”

I left, and everybody hustled out of there to parts unknown. The cops did come and the property manager let them into Brad’s place.

They knocked on my door,
“No, I’ve no idea where they went.
Now that you mention it, I think I Did smell marijuana.
Have I been smoking marijuana (nice long deep breath of air at their face) Nope.
Did I go up to their apartment naked? I’m not sure. I’m a sleepwalker.”

A moving truck came for his shit, but I never saw Brad again.

Now then –

Different folks have a different reaction to my story (depending on who they sympathize with), but even when I recall it now, I fall in love with myself all over again!

END


pb300Fall in love with my work,
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection
It’s a trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller – plus bonus stories
Featuring: True Love, Weird Sex, Monsters and Mayhem!
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).
Buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!

Books are like albums, so you’ll want to celebrate my whole catalog!

Look for my second collection, WILLOW BLUE and Other Stories
Five critically acclaimed tales featuring my literary twist on Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem! $8.00 for the paperback, $1.99 for the kindle reader or app. As always, buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!

Sometimes I get together with other bands,

Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.

Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself as well as Ray Bradbury, John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, and many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.