The Gift Of…


A new phone caused me to browse through some of my backed-up files and I came across this.

Today our Producer asked me to give him the Gift of No Conflict.

He’s doing his utmost best to deal with me, but I consistently cause no end of conflict for him.

I promised I would not cause conflict.

Today we’re going to a big event to promote our project.

Upon entering the expansive arena parking lot, our Producer asked me where we were to unload our equipment and I told him Hall D.

Producer: No, that’s where we set up. Where do we unload?
Me: Hall D.
Producer: It’s not Hall E?
Me: Nope, the email said Hall D.
Producer: I’m pretty sure it’s Hall E.
Me:
Okay.

Silence. driving through the massive parking lot, around to the back of the arena, we come within view of the loading bays of the various halls, A through H. They’re about 200 yards away but each is identified by a giant red letter.

Then.

Producer: Well is it Hall E or not?
Me:
No, it’s Hall D.
Producer:
Yes. (patronizing tone) That’s where the event takes place, but where do we actually unload?
Me: Hall D.
Producer: *Sigh* (lecturing tone) I asked you to memorize the email so we would not have this problem.
Me: We don’t have a problem,  it’s Hall D.
Producer: (stops the vehicle) GodDAMN it! Why do you fucking DO this? You’re supposed to be helping,  not Adding to my (slams his hands repeatedly on the steering wheel ) Fucking Headaches!  RAHHH!!! I wish you would Just Fucking Do what I ask! FUCK!
Me: (Used to these outbursts by now) I did what you asked. It’s hall D.
Producer: (whiny voice) ‘It’s hall D.’ Now I have to fucking find someone else. Someone who actually Knows what the Fuck they are Doing!

Two arena employees approach in a golf cart.  Producer flags them.

Producer: Excuse me! I need to unload some equipment for the Event Showcase…?
Driver: Hall D. You can’t miss –
Producer: (interrupting, loud and slow as if they are stupid)
Ye-es, Hall D is where the Event takes place. But where do I Unload?

By their abruptly indignant expressions, they are taking exception to his tone.

Passenger: Hall. D.
Producer: Are you sure?

They go stink eye and drive away.

Producer: (dramatic sigh. Sulky silence. He carries the burden of the world on his shoulders. He finally moves the vehicle forward)
Fine then. Where is Hall D?

He asked as we moved toward a row of arena loading bays, each clearly marked A through H with, as I noted, huge red letters.

I had to put my hand to my jaw to stop from grinding my teeth.

This is how I caused conflict between us.


 

After the event was over, I left the project for greener pastures. The project continued on for a while without me, but was never completed.

END


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