Would you say your experience was
5. Outrageously Awesome!
4. Needs Improvement
3. Wouldn’t Recommend it
Okay, I don’t want anyone to lose their job over my use of technical support, but damn! There is nothing that a person at a call center could ever do – short of talking people safely out of a burning building – that would be Outrageously Awesome!
“Alexa is talking to me again! That’s Outrageously Awesome!”
What if #4 was only Awesome?
“Well, they were Awesome, but I wasn’t Outraged.”
Isn’t Awesome good enough? Awesome means Breathtaking, Awe-inspiring, Magnificent, Amazing, Stunning, Impressive.
“Your tech support was so Impressively Stunning my wife called an ambulance. I might die!
And that’s just for Awesome!
Outrageous? The key definitions of Outrageous are, Shockingly Bad or Excessive.
I say, I found your Magnificent tech support Shockingly Bad, wot?
Outrageous can also mean Scandalous and Saucy.
Let’s be clear here, if you think Kyle at the Call Center gave you a Breathtaking experience that was Scandalous and Saucy, you likely weren’t calling for Tech Support.
I think I know how these ridiculous ratings came about though. Because there are always those people who, no matter how bad the lowest is or how great the highest is, they see it as a challenge. The have to top the top.
“Your ranking system only goes up to 5 but, can I give a 6? Because my tech, Bernice, was Outrageously Fucking Awesome!”
You encourage enough of these people and the drooling halfwit squatting in the web at Human Resources gets to thinking that all reviews need to attain that level.
To go from Outrageously Awesome to the damning, Needs Improvement in just one step? You know, there are several shades of Excellent, Great, and Really Good between 5 and 4.
I give corporate review ratings a Number 2.*
*If you feel I’m mocking your specific company? I probably am.
What words will YOU use to describe my book, WILLOW BLUE?
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Buy the paperback at Amazon and the Kindle eBook is free!
Are you so Magnificently Stunned that you want more?
Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.
Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself, as well as John Carpenter, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, also the late Ray Bradbury, Wes Craven, plus many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.