REMEMBER WHEN TEACHERS USED TO SAY…
Remember when teachers used to say, “Did you bring enough for everybody?”
Me: ‘My parents can’t afford a notebook for everybody!’
Teacher: ‘No, I meant your-‘
Me: ‘Or pencils. Come on, Mrs. Foresmo! Why should my folks be the ones who supply my whole class?’
Teacher: I’m talking about-‘
Me: ‘I have enough paper for everyone, but my own supply is going to go real quick.’
Teacher: ‘Eddie, you know what I’m- !’
Me: ‘My family is kinda scraping by as it is, why should we have to supply everyone else?’
Teacher: ‘THE CANDY! YOUR CANDY!’
Me: ‘MY SQUIRREL NUT ZIPPERS?!?’
Teacher: ‘YES! YOUR SQUIRREL – ! . . . your candy.’
Me: ‘My question still stands.’
Teacher gives silent hard look.
Teacher: ‘ “My question still stands”? Who taught you to talk like that?’
Me: ‘Perry Mason. It’s on right after Star Trek.’
Buy your own damned copy of my book,
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection
It’s a trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller – plus bonus stories
Featuring: True Love, Weird Sex, Monsters and Mayhem!
Now on sale for $9.00 in Trade Paperback and in eBook for $1.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, WHSmith, and more).
Buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!
Need a second book to appear smarter?
Look for my second collection, WILLOW BLUE and Other Stories
Five critically acclaimed tales featuring my literary twist on Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem! $8.00 for the paperback, $1.99 for the kindle reader or app. As always, buy the paperback from Amazon and get the kindle free!
Buying for the school year?
Look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt. Available from Crystal Lake Publishing and available in Print for $12.99 or eBook for $2.99.
Also available from Crystal Lake Publishing, the film making guidebook, HORROR 201: The Silver Scream. Reap the rewards of movie making experience from the likes of Myself as well as Ray Bradbury, John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Tom Holland, Jeffrey Reddick, George A. Romero, Keith Arem, Richard Gray, and many more. $19.99 in Print or $3.99 in eBook.