Where Random Happens

I’ve Worked In Customer Service


Cotton Candy on a Waffle Cone, Mission Beach, California

Cotton Candy on a Waffle Cone, Mission Beach, California

I once worked at a *wik K*py.

This guy filled out an order form for biz cards and custom receipts, left it on the counter, and left. No deposit, no handing it to anyone. He left as if he forgot something in his van and was going back to get it. Except he jumped in his Steam Cleaning business van and drove away.

We looked at each other,
Craig: “Did you take his money?”
Me: “Nope. I guess he changed his mind.”
Craig: “Was he angry or something?”
Me: “I’ve no idea.”

Three days later his van pulls up and he wants his business cards and receipts.

Me: “You didn’t pay.”
Guy: “I filled out all of the paperwork.”
Me: “But you didn’t pay.”
Guy: “But I filled out all of the paperwork!”
Me: “Yes sir. Including the part where you agreed to our price. But you didn’t pay it.”
Guy: “But I signed it!”

My charmless boss, LaVerna, hears his volume and comes out of her back office.

LaVerna: “What’s the problem?”
Guy: “I want my business cards and receipts. I filled out all of the paperwork.”
LaVerna: “Where’s his order?”
Me: “We threw it away. He didn’t pay.”
Guy: “That doesn’t matter!”
LaVerna’s head nearly spun – Exorcist-Style – back to the guy in outrage. *Pay! Doesn’t! MATTER?!?* To LaVerna, that was confessing a mortal SIN!

LaVerna: “Get Out!”

Guy: “Gimmie my stuff!”

LaVerna kept a wooden yardstick capped in metal on both ends under the counter. She whipped it out, SMACKED it on the counter with the Holy Outrage of a Catholic School Nun, and bellowed,

LaVerna: “GET OUT!”

Guy GTFO!


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Looking for a great guidebook on filmmaking? Interviews with Ray Bradbury, Wes Craven, John Carpenter, Tom Holland, George A. Romero, me, and many others in HORROR 201: The Silver Scream Vol.’s 1 & 2.

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