Where Random Happens

How I Personally Rid Us of the Dalek Invasion


28DaleksHOW I PERSONALLY RID US OF THE DALEK INVASION
(
without Doctor Who or anyone else from Whoville)
Copyright 2014 by E.C. McMullen Jr.

Dalek: “WE ARE THE SU-PREME BEINGS! WE WILL EX-TER-MIN-ATE ALL LIFE! ALL DISSENT! SUBMIT OR BE EX-TER-MIN-ATE-ED!

Me: “So, you guys are supposed to be inviolate, yes?”

Dalek: “WE ARE IN-VI-O-LATE!

Me: “And supreme right? Not just simply better, but supreme?”

Dalek: “WE ARE THE SU-PREME BEINGS!”

Me: “And you are self-sustaining robots, you don’t eat, drink, or shit.”

Dalek: “WE ARE ABOVE ALL PRIM-I-TIVE CONCERNS! WE ARE THE SU-PREME BEINGS!”

Me: “So what could you possibly need with slaves? It’s like me going to a lot of trouble to enslave bees. OH! Is that it? You desire our precious bodily essence?”

Dalek: UGH! DIS-GUSTING CREA-TURE! YOU WILL MINE YOUR WORLD, NOW OUR WORLD, FOR ITS RE-SOURCES! THEN WE WILL EX-TER-MIN-ATE YOU!”

Me: “But superior machines can perform mining hundreds of thousands of times better than any mass of humans. Even humans know that. We’ve used machines for centuries!”

Dalek: “… COMPUTING… COMPUTING… THERE IS STILL THE WHOLE EX-TER-MIN-ATE THING! BUT ONE MO-MENT! THING-KING!”

Me: “Not to mention the fact that, just to reach earth, you passed the orbits of many Jovian planets with hundreds of thousands of times greater mining resources – “

Dalek: SHUT-UP FOR ONE MO-MENT!  WE ARE THING-KING!

Me: ” – than earth could possibly have, even if it was just one solid ball of your favorite mineral.”

Dalek: WE SAID SHUT-UP!  WE ARE THING-KING!  ONE MO-MENT!”

Me: “Seems like cross-purposes, is all.”

Dalek: “SHUT-UP DAMN YOU!  THING-KING!  SHUT-UP!”

Me: “Just saying…”

Dalek: EX-TER-MIN-ATE!  SO HELP ME!  IF YOU DON’T SHUT-UP!  THING-KING!”

Suddenly the Dalek returned to its spaceship. After a few seconds and some energy blaster noise, they threw their unarmed leader out, and flew away.

Davros: “WHAT!? WHAT!? JUST!? HAPPENED!?”

Me: “I’m your Huckleberry.”

END

Story by E.C. McMullen Jr.
Photo from, Cheezburger.com

image descriptionWant more? Get my book
PERPETUAL BULLET: A Science Fiction Collection
A trove of previously published Science Fiction Horror Thriller – plus bonus stories
Featuring: Weird Sex, True Love, Monsters and Mayhem!
By E.C. McMullen Jr.
Now on sale for $2.99 and available for your Android Tablet, iPad, Kindle, Nook, Sony Reader, and every other “E”!
Find it at (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, !ndigo, iTunes, KoboBooks, Smashwords, Sony, WHSmith, and more).

Also look for my story Cedo Looked Like People, in the 2013 anthology, FEAR THE REAPER, edited by Joe Mynhardt and available in Paperback and eBook.

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