13 The Passover of the Jews was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem.
14 In the temple he found those who were selling oxen and sheep and pigeons, and the money-changers sitting there.
15 And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and oxen. And he poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables.
16 And he told those who sold the pigeons, “Take these things away; do not make my Father’s house a house of trade.”
OKAY, BUT SERIOUSLY, WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?
Copyright 2014 by E.C. McMullen Jr.
JESUS: “You refuse to serve my followers? And you use your belief in my Father as an EXCUSE ?!?”
MONEY CHANGER: “I own this table! I made it myself!
ORGANIC FARMER: “And I grew these vegetables!
MERCHANT RANCHER: “And I raised these cows and sheep!”
MERCHANT PIGEON HERDER: “Yeah! And I… well, these pigeons and all!
MONEY CHANGER: “Which gives us the freedom put OUR business wherever WE want, and do whatever WE please, to whoever WE like, for any reason WE choose!
MERCHANT RANCHER: “Yeah! Even if it’s stupid, ignorant, and rude!”
MERCHANT PIGEON HERDER: “Yeah! Because…er… Oh! Because RELIGION !”
JESUS ( angrily gathering cords ): “Oh REALLY ?”
MERCHANT PIGEON HERDER: “… uh… Whatta ya doing?”
JESUS ( tightly twining the cords together ): “Is that a FACT ?”
MERCHANT PIGEON HERDER: “Um… wait. Guys? What is he doing?”
JESUS: “Well I made and own this WHIP !
MERCHANT RANCHER: “WHOA! HEY NOW!”
JESUS: “And I can use it on whomever I want!”
MONEY CHANGER: “MY TABLE! MY PRECIOUS TABLE! Also my money!”
JESUS: “Now GTFO of this Temple!!!”
MERCHANT RANCHER: “My GOD ! He’s CRAZY !”
JESUS: “WHA- WHA- ? WHAT did YOU just SAY ?!?”
JESUS: “Oh Now you’re REALLY Gonna Get It!”
*WHIP!-CRACK!* *KICK!* *FLIP!*
ORGANIC FARMER: “And you call yourself a man of peace!”
MONEY CHANGER: “OW! JESUS CHRIST! ”
JESUS: “Jeezus Christ ?!? THEY! CALL! ME! HAY-SOOS !!!”
Story by E.C. McMullen Jr.
Artist Unknown. Many artists painted passages from the Bible through the centuries, never affixing their name to their work. The person who wrote the image quip is also unknown. This image has been floating around the Internet for a while.
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